Sometimes I don't like to blog because I know that not as many people will read it unless it's accompanied by the perfect graphic or if the layout of my blog doesn't scream "Jackie." I get so bogged down by the design aspects, of which I am good but not great at it nor do I have the right programs. I get so bogged down by my blog not being pretty enough that I forget that my words can be pretty. Because I am not a cutesy, artsy person who always chooses the right Instagram filter. I am not always wearing the latest designer or fashion trend because I like what I like whether it's popular or not. Wanting to dress in your own style and not just what's popular can be REALLY tough. But I do it. There are many fads that I never participated in simply because I didn't like it for myself. There were ones that I did participate in because I like it. I own and often wear a pair of Chacos. I like them, they're comfortable and they work well for my flat feet.I know it seems like I'm rambling but my rambling has a point. It is SO important to be authentic. To be genuine. People want to see the real you. They don't want to see the perfectly polished version you put forth on social media. There's a reason people like celebs like Zooey Deschanel, Jennifer Lawrence and Taylor Swift. When you see them in magazines, tv, social media, etc. you get the feeling that you could be friends with them. We feel that way about them and other celebrities, because they are genuine. They are real.
Wanna know something fun? Nobody likes it when you or I are disingenuous.
People want to see the real, raw, messy you. This is me giving you permission to share with others that you're not that great sometimes. This is me telling one of my favorite youth Sunday School teachers that the job search is really hard and it's really frustrating instead of my stock answer of "it's going good."
This is not me giving you permission to only complain though. Celebrate the wins when you have wins. Celebrate the little wins as well as the big ones. Yesterday, I texted my sister telling her how excited I was that I finally made it through a barre pilates class without starting to black out. That's a victory. That's progress. It's small but small things are important to you. Sometimes the highlight of your day is getting a good parking spot or getting in a short line at Walmart. And that's okay. That's more than okay. That's awesome. Celebrate it. Own it.
I'm learning lately to be okay with who I am, strengths AND weaknesses. They all make up who I am. They all offer me room for growth and ways to glorify God. A few months ago I wrote in my journal how I wanted to be like a couple of famous writers who are known for their words. I wanted to be big. And I just had this overwhelming assurance from God that he didn't need me to be big. He needed me to be small. He reminded me that my role models were small before they were big and that now was my time to be small. So here I am. Living in a small state, in a small town, in a small bedroom learning to be okay with being small.
I don't know if this makes much sense to anyone but myself but I think it's important to share what's on my heart sometimes and this is on my heart. In the spirit of authenticity, I am sharing this without a picture and I am letting you know that I had trouble spelling authenticity because I am a HORRIBLE speller. Seriously, I would have had a lot more trouble in English classes had I been born prior laptops and spellcheck becoming the standard practice.
Is anyone else going through a season of life that seems counter intuitive to culture? Let me know!